We leave for Sydney on the 11th of June to drop our Lukey Luke and Miss Milly off - I tear up every time I think about how much I will miss my babies. Mental note: do not mention Disneyland in front of Luke - I made that mistake this morning. Lukey Luke has been a little more emotional than usual as he is old enough to know that we will be gone for a whole month. I remember being 7 and 4 weeks seemed like a lifetime. We are all skyped up so hopefully that will ease the separation anxiety a little.
Things haven't been smooth sailing with Mikey of late either the reason being - who knows! It could be a number of things:-
* anxiety of the upcoming operation;
* not getting his own way all the time (this being the most likely) Mikey thinks its quite reasonable to be playing on an i-pod at 3.00 am (to him this isn't a problem!);
*being 9 and becoming more aware that he is a little different;
*kids at School being more aware that Mikey is a little different.
I was a little sad for Mikey the other day when he was crying about "why god gave him one ear and made him have Asperger's Syndrome" he was inconsolable - partly because he was too busy crying and shouting to God and he just wasn't able to listen to us when we pointed out all the good things in his life.
Mikey is having some theological issues at the moment! This morning he informed me there was no God because if there was a God - God would give him everything he wants! I tried to explain to him that God doesn't work like that he is more a teacher teaching us life lessons - Mikey considered this explanation quite ridiculous as he takes everything so literally he was quite sure God didn't appear in a class room, coffee cup in hand (*short sleeved shirt, bad tie) ready to talk about punctuation. (* sorry to all my teacher friends - this is what my male teachers were like!) - except for you Mr Williams ... just remembered you're a facebook friend!
I don't think I can be very convincing when I'm not sure about God myself - my belief dwindles sometimes - what I do believe is we should try and be kind, not hold onto anger because it will make us sick and lead the best life we possibly can ....mmm Oprah moment! or should I say Aha moment!
On a positive note - Shane and I are looking forward to spending time just with Mikey so we can heal some wounds and re-connect with our little guy - I know that he will love spending some one on one time with us and perhaps we can dig deeper with him and get to know our little guy more - as much as we are able too - connecting with him emotionally is very hard and sometimes we are left disappointed - we have to stop feeling like this and be grateful for every little step no matter how small.
Shane and I have also decided to keep our training up and even step it up if possible (depending on how well Mikey is doing). I have already been in touch with Chris Clarke, the President of Huntington Beach Surf Lifesaving Association so perhaps we could paddle our way down the Coast of California - what an experience that would be! Stay tuned for any sporting endeavours (its all about the T-Shirt really!).
Signing off - will blog closer to our departure.
xxx B
Footprints
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed He was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from His life. For each scene He noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. One belonging to Him and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of His life flashed before Him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of His life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of His life.
This really bothered Him and He questioned the LORD about it. LORD you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.
The LORD replied, my precious, precious child, I Love you and I would never leave you! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
When the last scene of His life flashed before Him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of His life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of His life.
This really bothered Him and He questioned the LORD about it. LORD you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.
The LORD replied, my precious, precious child, I Love you and I would never leave you! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
Carolyn Carty, 1963
